Daddy's Turn...

Tonight, I am a new man. Having held my son for 1.5 hours is an experience that I will take to the grave; something I will never forget; something that has changed me. Leading up to it, the nervous twitters of butterflies jostled in my gut. I hadn't felt this nervous in years. I had no reason to be, but nerves will not be denied when the emotions are there - at least not with me. Will he rest comfortably? Will he cry? Will I do something wrong? I'm usually pretty cool under pressure, but this was territory for which I was not familiar.
As I went to place my hand gently under him, first under his head, then under his rear end, I felt how delicate and soft his cranial bones were (it's not comforting when the head almost feels as soft and pliable as the belly. I'm used to my own hard noggin, so a soft one is the ultimate reminder to be careful with every movement). As I raised him and sat in the chair, I took a moment to look at this amazing and miraculous little person. I was in awe; at a loss of words. Ania grabbed that moment with a photo - shown right. It was incredible to say the least. Next, I brought him to my chest and he nuzzled in immediately. His right leg was sort of tucked in beneath him while his left leg was stretched out, foot resting on one of my ribs. His left hand under my shirt, right hand over. He was so warm, so perfect. Before I knew it, he was out like a light. I took immense pleasure as he would periodically jostle around: moving a foot here, and hand there. That little life became real to me tonight, and really for the first time I realize that I am a dad now. I know that sounds crazy being that my son is now 2 weeks old today, but everything was so surreal before. Now that I've held him, his existence is no longer surreal, rather it's real. Very real. And he's mine; he's ours. Ania and I did that?! The phrase "miracle of life" is just that: a miracle. Our miracle. Thank you all for sharing in it...